that wake up holy crap feeling

have you ever woken up and been like: holy shit how the hell have i made it this far?" it's scary to think there haven't been any books or how to guides that really worked with every situation you came across. even though parents were always there to tell you "i've been there" and "i was young once too," when all you can think is "yeah uh huh a century ago when there wasn't even internet." i mean look how far the world has come. when i was nine the original mario came out and now i'm barely 23 and we have ps3 and the wii and people are virtual bowling with little animated characters. i mean HUH???!?! so if that is just the virtual side of life, how are we supposed to merge the very real here and now love, relationships, frienship side of life? things are a lot different. people are falling in love on the internet, speed dating is considered almost normal, and the lonely single people have no freaking idea of how to get a date. i'm stuck too. 23 and in major dislike of being hit on. i'm one of those simple girls that likes to get to know someone without the pressure of a date, the second pressure appears i hightail it for the horizon, its some serious mental dysfunction that i wish i could erase, but i'm sure is impossible. so now i'm on a search for that perfect man, preferrably one with tattoos and a lip piercing, which never happens because the idea of a black rocker chick is pretty much lost on men. i always feel pressured to be booty dancing in some rap video instead moshin' out at some great killswitch show. aahhh the pressures of stereotype and love why does it have to be there and will this girl ever find love or will she just wallow in corners on her own wishing she could be part of the fun. hopefully i will be the fun, but now its time to let go of some of the past, of the people who've wronged me, made me feel uncomfortable, or are just plain toxic to my happiness. now's the time to be a bit selfish and free. oh yeah and a bit crazy ;-p



E.